It was my 9yo who brought this "story" to my attention, She said to me in disgust the other night "Did you know that they had on the news that Princess Mary had gone to the shops to buy nappies!?!". I then told her about Cate Blanchett's shoes and she was even more amazed and went running off to tell her dad.
I actually find the whole Princess Mary carry on in Australia quite puzzling. She is just a real estate agent from Tasmania and doesn't even seem to have much of a personality. I remember a radio announcer joking at the time of the "Royal wedding" that we should change the Australian national anthem to "Wonderful, wonderful Copenhagen".
No wonder the Republic didn't get up!
Show us a fashion trend that you hope goes out of style ASAP.
I had thought that this one had been asked previously but I just looked it up and found that I had actually given a sarcastic answer to a very different question.
Fortunately I think the muffin-top look is pretty much on its last legs now so my current least favourite fashion trend would have to be all those clothes like the smock top that make non-pregnant women look like they are in their last trimester or at least eating for two. Given that being asked if I am pregnant is something that completely ruins my day, I can't see why anyone non-pregnant would voluntarily embrace this fashion trend.
Also liked Diamond's answer to this question. Hopefully the phase out of the muffin top will also result in the phase out of that particular nasty trend.
Soup wrote this:
Asva is a band helmed by Stuart Dahlquist, formerly of Burning Witch, Sunn o))), and Goatsnake, and recorded with members of bands like Burning Witch, Mr. Bungle, and Earth. You probably don't need to know much beyond that to have some idea of what this sounds like already, but leaving this at a paragraph wouldn't do it justice. Their new album for Southern Records (not to be confused with Southern Lord, who I initially thought was putting this out), What You Don't Know is Frontier, is a sparser, more composed, more varied take on the metallic drone pioneered by Sunn o))), and ultimately, manages to be a pretty damn good album.
The first track, “What You Don't Know in Frontier” (sic), is a Sunn o)))-style drone, sped up, with a very prominent organ in front of it. Noisy, fuzzed-out, feedbacking guitars drift in and out, and give way to atmospheric, Earth-y leads, subtle changes in the rhythm guitar, and so-slow-they're-barely-there drums.
“Christopher Columbus” is built on a subharmonic bass drone that sounds like the movement of the ocean, with cymbal crashes adding a sense of impending doom. Inevitably, the feedbacking guitars come in and drone mechanically over it, sounding something like a doomed vessel lost at sea. Drones are piled on and phased in and out over time. Drums and metallic chugging create a surprisingly rhythmic build-up to slow, actually musical sounding guitar leads.
“A Game in Hell, Hard Work in Heaven” starts out with a clean, contemplative guitar on top of a subtle organ drone. Organs overtake the guitars, evoking more of a sense of hope than anything else on the album so far. Chanting vocals in a language I honestly can't identify come in over sometimes discordant keyboards and an Earth-y lead guitar, which all eventually builds into a meandering climax of sound.
The last track, “A Trap For Judges” is a sprawling, almost 25-minute epic that builds from a keyboard drone up to a strangely hopeful sounding cloud of feedback, keyboards, and the ever-present downtuned rhythm guitar and drums trying to crush it all underfoot. This song turns into probably the closest thing to Sunn o))) these guys do on this album, with the trademark Sunn o))) guitar dynamic, with the “rhythm” guitar stomping around like an angry dinosaur, and the “lead” droning on top of it. The biggest difference is, these guys actually speed it up quite a bit, although still keeping it incredibly slow. It breaks down into an organ drone that builds into a hopeful climax and an awesome ending for the album.
I
can't find any tour dates or anything for these guys, but everything
I've read about their live set suggests that you should probably
actually wear earplugs for once if you catch them. The album is out
today on Southern Records. While I doubt this album will change your
mind if you're not into this sort of thing, generally, fans of Sunn
o))), Burning Witch, or Southern Lord style metal will definitely dig
it. More info can, of course, be found at the band's MySpace page.
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Tour Dates
08/20/08 Birch Aquarium with Shawn Mullins San Diego, California
08/21/08 Border’s Books In-Store San Diego, California 08/30/08 KUSI morning show San Diego, California 09/21/08 Main Stage - Oceanside Harbor Days - Alex Woodard and the Naysayers Oceanside, California 10/04/08 House Concert Series - Seattle Seattle, Washington 10/11/08 House of Blues with Chris Cagle San Diego, California 10/17/08 House Concert Series - Alex Woodard and the Naysayers New York City, New York 10/25/08 Casbah - Alex Woodard and the Naysayers San Diego, CA 12/06/08 Casbah - Alex Woodard and the Naysayers San Diego, CA, California 12/10/08 House Concert Series - Lafayette, LA Lafayette, Louisiana 12/11/08 Ogden Museum - Alex Woodard and the Naysayers New Orleans, Louisiana 12/12/08 Julep - Alex Woodard and the Naysayers Jackson, Mississippi 12/13/08 House Concert Series - Memphis, TN Memphis, Tennessee 12/15/08 Tin Roof I Nashville, Tennessee |
Alex Woodard's self-titled debut album is out today, and if you've kept up with site.w♥m, you'd know that you can get him to write a song about you if you pre-order his album.
The link is still available, probably until the end of today, so if you want to brag to your friends that you have a song about you...
It looks like you need to use PayPal to buy his album, and your email will then be used so they can contact you directly about your personal song. You'll also be grant exclusively to "The Woodshack" for more cool stuff with Woodard.
I wasn't offered his album for review, but based on this one song, "Reno", I thought this news was worth mentioning. It has a country/western feel to it, and I did like the duet with Sara Watkins. Her sweet southern comfort voice is a nice counterweight to Woodard's country pop vocals.
Anyway, if you got a chance to check out W♥M Podcast #19, I did mention at the end that I would like to do more coverage on international artists. Fortunately, we received enough artists for this article.
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SOUND AND FURY
soundandfury.com ♥ myspace.com
Most of the more metal/heavier rock I have given over to Soup, but on occassion, I would grab something if it looks interesting. Anyway, I thought I'd take a stab at listening to Canada's Sound and Fury's debut album - mostly because of the William Shakespeare's reference ("A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing") and their stunning cover art (who says album artwork doesn't sell a record?) The cover is a die-cut of "SF" covering most of the men in skull masks, which upon closer inspection looks like it might have been real skulls, photoshopped on their bodies. Getting past the cover artwork, this album is actually pretty rockin'. I can already hear AC/DC and early punk influences in their song (especially with the vocals and some of the frantic guitar riffs), this band sounds like they are from the 70s/80s. They seem like a relatively young band, being that this is their debut album (just released June 26th on Rebel Youth Records). Plus a lot of their subject in their songs involves early age/high school, such as "18", "Teenage Rampage", "School's Out", and "High School Hotbox"... hey as they say: write what you know! They are sure getting their names out, being recently on the Warped Tour and now supporting Airbourne and Bang Camaro, so be sure to check them out all over the US and UK:
August 20 Imperial de Quebec Quebec City
August 21 Le National Montreal August 22 Elements Kitchener August 24 Cowboy's Ranch London August 27 Garrick Centre Winnipeg August 28 Odeon Events Centre Saskatoon August 29 Event Centre Edmonton August 31 Commodore Ballroom Vancouver Sept 1 Sugar Victoria Sept 12 Pearl Street Northampton, Massachusetts Sep 13 Asylum Portland, Maine Sep 25 Double Door Chicago, Illinois Sep 26 The High Noon Saloon Madison, Wisconsin Sep 27 7th Street Entry Minneapolis, Minnesota Oct 3 King Cobra Seattle, Washington Oct 4 Dante’s Portland, Oregon Oct 5 Bottom of the Hill San Francisco, California Oct 8 The Roxy Theatre Los Angeles, California Oct 9 Beauty Bar Las Vegas, Nevada Oct 10 The Casbah San Diego, California Oct 11 Plush Tucson, Arizona Oct 24 Exit/In Nashville, Tennessee Oct 25 EARL Atlanta, Georgia Nov 1 Cardiff University Cardiff, UK Nov 2 Bristol Academy Bristol, UK Nov 5 Birmingham Academy Birmingham, UK Nov 6 Sheffield Octogon Sheffield, UK Nov 7 Liverpool Academy Liverpool, UK Nov 8 Manchester Academy Manchester, UK Nov 10 Dublin Ambassador Dublin, IRE Nov 11 Belfast Mandela Hall Belfast, IRE Nov 13 Inverness Ironworks Nov 14 Dundee Fat Sams Nov 15 Glasgow Barrowlands Glasgow Nov 17 Newcastle Academy Newcastle, UK Nov 18 Leeds Met University Leeds, UK Nov 19 Stoke Victoria Hall UK Nov 20 Nottingham Rock City Nottingham, UK Nov 22 Oxford Academy Oxford, UK Nov 23 Norwich UEA Nov 24 Cambridge Junction Cambridge, UK Nov 26 Folkestone Lees Cliff Hall UK Nov 27 Astoria London, UK Nov 28 Astoria (TBA) London, UK Dec 1 Laiterie Strasbourg, France Dec 2 Boule Noir Paris, France Dec 4 Apolo 2 Barcelona, Spain Dec 5 Theatre Barbey Bordeaux, France Dec 6 Rolling Stone Milan, Italy Dec 7 Rohstofflager Zurich, Switzerland Dec 8 Flex Vienna, Austria Dec 15 Small Vega Copenhagen, Denmark Dec 18 Grunspan Hamburg, Germany Dec 21 Backstage/Werk Munich, Germany Dec 28 Colas-Saal Ascahffenburg, Germany
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SOUTH
south.uk.net ♥ myspace.com
If their description of "Coldplay" and "Travis" doesn't turn you off, then you'll love this London-based trio, South. Although (based on their fifth album, You Are Here), they do sound more contemporary British pop/rock, they did originally started out as more of an electronic act. This is especially evident with their work with Stone Roses' Ian Brown (the Madchester scene is still some of the most influential music today) and UNKLE's James Lavelle (who was so impressed with these lads that he signed them on his own personal label, Mo' Wax).
Since I'm not familar with their earlier releases, they must've shifted gears in 2003, after leaving Mo' Wax's label. However, there is a rumor, based on singer/songwriter Joel Cadbury's blog that suggests they might return to the more dancey origins because they want to release a brand new remix album. I'm sure you'll see that soon, if not next year. Listening to their latest album, I absolutely the crazy horns on "Lonely Highs", it sounds like some Spanish flamenco song... completely out of the blue. But listening to enough music, I can tell you that the single that everyone will love should be "The Pain". This song starts off with a nice bass, followed by a very Kink-esque melody. Other songs worth checking out are "Wasted", "Better Things", and "She's Half Crazy" ("don't you know that she's half crazy?"). The good news is that if you live in the US, the album is available domestically via Bluhammock. Be sure to check out some of our coverage of their other bands: Virginia Coalition and KaiserCartel. PS, there is a hidden song at the very end of "Zither Song". It sounds like a warped record, but it's a nice bonus. |
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DONNA LEWIS
donnalewis.com ♥ myspace.com
Welsh singer/songwriter, Donna Lewis, rocketted into fame with her 1996 VH1 hit single, "I Love You Always Forever" from her platinum-selling debut album Now in a Minute. If you have never listened to pop music, just head over to her myspace and you'll be in for a treat. The song has a very catchy rhythm, and the lyrics seems to go on and on. For fans of Lewis, you'll be happy to know that she's been steadily releasing music - her latest from last year is In the Pink. I can see from her album that "You to Me" is probably the hit single, it tries to capture that "I Love You" feeling, but more acoustic and sweeping backing vocals. An excerpt of the song appears again in a reprise version, just to remind you that this is the song. Apparently I am wrong, because her single from this album is "Shout", a jangley acoustic song with a focus on her sweet voice. The title of this album, not a reference to Tori Amos, comes from her song, "Pink Dress". This track, along with "Obsession" (I love the whispery "wishing well" that sounds like she's singing "whissing well") and "Shut the Sun Out" suggests more of an electronica/dancey future for Lewis. Although I like seeing this kind of experimenting and change, I don't think her hardcore pop fans would appreciate this... but I did enjoy her dance songs a lot more than her love/sugar pop songs. In the Pink have been out since April through the US via Peruzzi Music and Redeye Records. |
SALME DAHLSTROM
salmedahlstrom.com ♥ myspace.com
Although currently based in New York, this DJ/singer/mixer/music producer, Salme Dahlstrom, was born in Sweden. Once again, the Swedes does not disappoint with this latest release called, The Acid Cowgirl Audio Trade - out today, August 19th via Kontainer Records. After a short introduction to the album ("this is your brain on music..."), you're hit with an explosive dance number, "Bombastic". This is a hard-hitting song, it uses a lot of drumming and beats and it's just very catchy. I will have to point out that her "playful" imagery of a salute on the cover artwork as well as the lyrics "line up like a Nazi/watching every move that I make" might offend some overly sensitive people. Although I don't have a problem with it, I know this subject is still relatively taboo. It's also hard to listen to this album without thinking about another Swedish woman called Robyn. Especially in the easy-to-sing-along "C'Mon Y'All" (the main lyrics are "ooh la la, sing ooh la la, c'mon y'all"). She's clearly a talented woman, having written and put together all her songs. It looks like The Acid Cowgirl Audio Trade might be her debut album, consisting of two previously released EPs, with three brand new tracks ("C'mon Y'All, "Bombastic" and "Wearing The Peace"). She's supposed to be on tour for support of this album, so I'll be sure to mention her tour dates if those are made available. |
I did it. The most monstrous task of all. The thing I dread with every molecule of my being. I packed today. It had to be done. I'm moving on Friday and I hadn't touched a box or packing tape until today. It didn't hurt that I've been living in another city sleeping on a mattress on the floor at my parents all summer meaning that I haven't been staring at all of my stuff dreading the chaos to come for every waking moment.
On second thought maybe that's a good thing.
A small amount of background on this
subject. I am the WORST packer you have EVER met. I could come up
with many examples but between my ability to procrastinate, my dread
of change and tendency to label boxes “things that go on shelves”
packing and I have been on the outs for a long time. On my last big move I ended up starting to pack about 3 months before I was moving and I was still scrambeling at the last minute. This move would be different I swore. Surprisingly I did have some modest success in this venture.
Today actually went very well. At no point did I burst into tears. I labeled boxes appropriately with the room and contents across the top. And in four hours I managed to pack all of by bedroom, all of my office and now I just have the kitchen and basement to conquer tomorrow.
I have not conquered my phobia by any means but I am proud that for today at least I have triumphed.
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08/23/08 Minneapolis, MN @ Triple Rock
Discography
09/15/08 Seattle, WA @ Chop Suey 09/16/08 Portland, OR @ Towne Lounge 09/17/08 Davis, CA @ The Old Firehouse 09/18/08 SF, CA @ Bottom of the Hill 09/24/08 Denver, CO @ Hi Dive 09/26/08 Boise, ID @ Neurolux
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Milwaukee-born, St. Paul-based Jeff Hanson is full of surprises. Having been briefly acquainted with him socially through a mutual friend some seven years ago I was amazed by the news: Jeff had signed with Kill Rock Stars. THE Kill Rock Stars? Yes; he mailed them a demo and they went nuts for it. Who knew THAT actually worked? My second surprise came some time later, in 2003 when my roommate walked in the door proudly holding a copy of Jeff's newly released debut. He immediately commandeered the living-room stereo and plugged the disc in. Having no idea what to expect, I was pleased with Jeff's folksy, stripped down, singer-with-guitar style. I liked it immediately. So, who's the woman singing? I asked. That's Jeff. No, no, the SINGER, I enunciated. No, no, that's Jeff. None of us spoke again for a good ten minutes; weighed down by the enormity of that concept and stunned into silence as song after song washed over us. Because, you see; Jeff sings in a whispery falsetto that would make angels weep. There. I said it. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, upon first contact with his über-soothing soprano, mistakes it for a woman's voice.
It's at this point that I'd like to take a step back and point out that I asked for this assignment, in fact I begged for it. But in many ways what I was seeking was an impossible mission. I can't describe Jeff Hanson's voice. And I've given up on trying. It simply must be experienced. Listen to the embedded track. Listen to it twice if you need to. Listen to it twice, go make yourself a cup of coffee, smoke a cigarette, or whatever your vice of choice, then come back and read the rest of this. Because if you still haven't wrapped your head around the fact that YOU ARE LISTENING TO A MAN SINGING, you really won't be paying any attention to anything else I have to say. If you think I'm overreacting: you probably haven't clicked on the embed yet.
It is my theory that Jeff Hanson has suffered somewhat as a result of his unique voice. Many see it as an oddity, an aberration. It attracts gawkers and curiosity-seekers their to pay their nickel to see The Amazing Man Who Sings Like A Woman, and having only given him a glimpse, they soon move on, presumably in search of Dogboy or The Bearded Lady.
Those people will soon realize their mistake.
Jeff Hanson has finally recorded an album - his third, "Madam Owl," released today - befitting his amazing vocals. This should in no way be construed as a knock on his previous two albums, but I firmly believe that this is the album that will finally launch him from "That Guy Who Sings Like A Girl" to "Jeff Hanson." Certainly, there still need to be a lot of introductions that will likely begin with "Check it out: this dude sounds like a chick," and from personal experience I can tell you it's quite a conversation starter. But honestly, it's past time for this guy to get some respect. It can't be easy for a falsetto-wielding folkster signed to a label known more for its Riot Grrrls than its soulful balladeers. But he's long ago made peace with that and this album is an engraved invitation for the rest of us to follow suit. The solo, man-with-guitar style that has become his signature is well-represented in Madam Owl, but unlike previous offerings, an ensemble backing band makes this album at times downright orchestral. Violin, cello, trumpet, trombone, saxophone, accordion, and… is that "saw" I see in the liner notes? As capable as The Voice is, increasingly varied instrumentation frames it in such a way that he no longer has to concern himself with the need to vocally carry the album, supported only by his single guitar. He has long done that bit well - extremely well - but much of this album shows a change of tactics that works beautifully.
I'm going to repeat myself: It simply must be experienced. Listen to the embed a third time. Download "If Only I Knew" free from the Kill Rock Stars site. Buy the album. Play it for a friend. If you're looking for a conversation starter, try: "Check it out: this dude sounds like a chick."
Links:
www.jeffhanson.net
myspace.com/jeffhanson
killrockstars.com
myspace.com/killrockstars5rc
Death haunts us not by the things that are there, but by the things that aren't. The screaming emptiness a vacant chair at dinner. The unsettling feeling of walking in the door and not tripping over their shoes. The holes are loud, and even if we could fill them we wouldn't want to. We slowly swallow the acidic knowledge that things will be okay eventually, maybe, but they will never be the same. We try to accept this new version of ourselves and of our lives; there is less of us now, parts of us get buried with them in the ground.
My uncle is not doing well. It is to be expected, I know. He was devastated that you are not allowed to plant flowers on the grave at the cemetery (this is because of maintenance issues apparently). So he had dirt dumped next to where she died, and planted tons of perennials there. The image of my uncle, on his knees, planting a garden where his daughter died breaks my heart.
The family went to the graveyard together the other day. They wanted to see the cross my uncle had made. They held hands and prayed. My grandmother finally cried. She had been trying so hard to say that there was nothing sad about someone getting to go to God so soon, it is a nice thing for them, that there was no reason to cry. The relief that she had finally allowed herself to react rippled through our family.
She called today to tell us about this. She said she hopes they can go together to visit my cousin often. She said that no matter how hard it was, in the end it felt kind of good.
It's so sad to hear about these things over the phone, imagining how life is for everyone so many provinces away. It makes you cry private tears, the ones that spill down your cheeks without making any noise.
I watch my mothers face turn grey. She keeps remembering when my brother was sick; imagining what life would have been like if we lost him. I think she feels guilty for feeling lucky.
I don't think I really understood until now, the fullness of loss. I thought of death as an echo, something that starts off loud and then gets softer and softer until you don't even notice anymore. I never realized that the people close to the deceased have a ringing in their ears that will never stop.
Don't have time to post the full report, but as you can see we had a last minute costume change. My daughter ended up being only one of two dalmations (were loads of Pippi Longstockings - including one of the teachers) and my son the only Harry from Harry and the Bucket full of Dinosaurs (he decided he much preferred this to Puss in Boots). Unfortunately Mollie had to stay home so didn't get to come and march as Hairy McLary from Donaldsons Dairy as she would have liked.
Soup took a break from being too metal for one hand to write this:
Portland, Oregon's System and Station, formerly Boise, Idaho's System and Station and Madison, Wisconsin's System and Station, are releasing their new album, A Nation of Actors tomorrow. And it's really, really good. What we have here is an engaging Pacific Northwest style rock record with influence ranging from northwestern indie rock to classic rock to early-90's post-hardcore.
The opening track, “The Magnetic North” is a great example of this. Straightforward rock verses with post-hardcore time changes and sweet melodies tying it all together. The intro and outro are sort of “emo” in the least corny way possible, although they don't really add or detract from the song itself. “Sell Out” sounds appropriately like something you might hear on the radio or MTV, like a hit single waiting to happen, provided either of those things actually still played anything this good on a regular basis. It's a straight-up rock song featuring some cool sinewy guitars and a really, really catchy vocal melody. “A Light to Lead You Home” features a lead guitar that reminds me a lot of something Built to Spill might do, but the whole thing is arranged a lot more tightly than anything Built to Spill has done. It builds up gracefully to a classic rock influenced jam with busy drumming and psychedelic guitar, which also sounds a lot like something Built to Spill would do. “On the Way” features a bouncy off-beat guitar rhythm, without ever degenerating into a bunch of white dudes imitating reggae like it very easily could (speaking of Built to Spill...). It's a really fun, catchy track. “Rainy Days in Future Cities” is a sparsely arranged but lush sounding track that evokes pretty much exactly what the title says. This is in stark contrast to the business and upbeat tone of “Too Late Too Soon.” The reverb-drenched “The World is Run by Wires” is a slower song featuring Built to Spill style delayed lead guitar and cymbal rolls subtly building up to a gorgeous pop song. “Pictures Found in Paragraphs” starts up with a sinewy post-hardcore section that breaks down into a “twinkly” pop song that brings to mind The Flaming Lips and builds into something that reminds me of early Jets to Brazil. “Out on the Wall” takes the quiet/loud dynamic and turns it into the most casual sounding thing ever, like it's no big deal anymore, mixing bouncy pop verses, with strangely polished, distorted post-hardcore riffing, and building up into a strangely polished rock song. “Dumb Luck” doesn't even bother with the build-up. It starts out with sinewy off-time riffing that reminds me of Drive Like Jehu a little bit, and an unconventional melodic structure. This is probably the most abrasive song on this album. The last track is the title track, “A Nation of Actors.” It's the longest track on the album, and it's a great culmination of the album as a whole. It opens with kind of “ballady” verses with darkly bouncy pop choruses, all of it with some tastefully mixed in strings. After a couple rounds of this, it builds up and spends most of the rest of the track building up distorted walls of sound and breaking back down into an outro that ties it all back together.
These guys are on tour, and they're coming through Boise (which, given that they're from here, doesn't surprise me), so I'll definitely be checking it out. They definitely sound like they'd be a good time live. Here are the dates:
Aug 20 2008 8:00P Doug Fir Lounge CD Release!!!! w/ Prize Country and Ley Lines Portland, Oregon
Aug 26 2008 8:00P Lil’ Red Lion w/La Fin Du Monde Eureka, California
Aug 27 2008 8:00P Hemlock Tavern San Francisco, California
Aug 28 2008 8:00P Knitting Factory Los Angeles, California
Aug 29 2008 8:00P Chaser’s San Diego, California
Aug 30 2008 8:00P Plush Tucson, Arizona
Aug 31 2008 8:00P Atomic Cantina Albuquerque, New Mexico
Sep 1 2008 8:00P The Conservatory OKC, Oklahoma
Sep 2 2008 8:00P Replay Lounge w/ Overstep Lawrence, Kansas
Sep 3 2008 8:00P Record Bar w/ The Life and Times Kansas city, Missouri
Sep 4 2008 8:00P Melody Inn Indianapolis, Indiana
Sep 5 2008 8:00P The Frequency w/ ifihadahifi Madison, Wisconsin
Sep 6 2008 8:00P Cactus Club w/ ifihadahifi Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Sep 7 2008 8:00P Empty Bottle w/ Couch Flambeau Chicago, Illinois
Sep 8 2008 8:00P Triple Rock w/ The Slats Minneapolis, Minnesota
Sep 9 2008 8:00P Box Awesome w/ Fromanhole Lincoln, Nebraska
Sep 10 2008 8:00P The Waiting Room w/ Fromanhole and Race for Titles Omaha, Nebraska
Sep 11 2008 8:00P Hi Dive w/ Mustangs and Madras Denver, Colorado
Sep 12 2008 8:00P Visual Arts Collective Boise, Idaho
Sep 13 2008 8:00P Sunset Tavern Seattle, Washington
A SEVERE female drought has gripped Mount Isa, but Mayor John Molony thinks he has the answer: send in the ugly girls.
Men outnumber women at a ratio of about five to one in the testosterone town and the female famine is taking its toll on young blokes, who call it the 'beer goggle capital of Australia."
"May I suggest if there are five blokes to every girl, we should find out where there are beauty-disadvantaged women and ask them to proceed to Mount Isa," Cr Molony said.
"Quite often you will see walking down the street a lass who is not so attractive with a wide smile on her face. Whether it is recollection of something previous or anticipation for the next evening, there is a degree of happiness.
"Often those who are beauty-disadvantaged are uphappy with their lot.
"Some, in other places in Australia, need to proceed to Mount Isa where happiness awaits.
"And, really, beauty is only skin deep. Isn't there a fairy tale about an ugly duckling that evolves into a beautiful swan?"
The miners' mecca has traditionally been a man's world – and young fellas say living in the Isa is about earning money, not finding love.
In 2006 there were just 819 females aged 20-24 living in town, compared with 994 in 1996. While most blokes accept the female drought is "just the way it is out here" – they still have a few suggestions as to how to lure the ladies out west.
Builder Paul Woodlands, 25, said the pay for jobs traditionally filled by women did not seem to match what the blokes could earn and there was little incentive for women to stay in the remote town.
"I know a few women who have come out here to do hairdressing, but they left to go back to the coast because the pay was bad and there's not much to do," Mr Woodlands said.
"I think if they improved wages for those types of jobs, it might help.
"There's definitely a lack of beautiful women, blokes are not as picky – you take what you can get."
Grant Rollings, 26, dubbed the Isa "the beer goggle" capital of Australia.
He said blokes were far less choosy when it came to women, because they were few and far between.
Electrician Paul McDonald said his mates warned him not to bring his girlfriend to the Isa as she would become prey to the men.
Though he claimed the divorce rate is skyrocketing in Mount Isa, after 12 months he is still happily attached.
Fly-in, fly-out miner Luke Eastgate, 22, hinted that while there were women around, many were not the type to take home to meet your mother.
"There are a small number of professionals, like school teachers and nurses, but it's more of an open set-up, it's difficult to find a girlfriend in this town and keep her."
Mr Eastgate said many young professionals were in Mount Isa for a short time to start their career before they moved back to larger cities.
The story which of course comes from Sydney's Daily Telegraph (also known as the Daily Terror) is accompanied by a photo of America Ferrara dressed as Ugly Betty superimposed over a photo over a Mt Isa landscape, the most notable feature of which is a very phallic, billowing smoke stack. The caption under the photograph says "Ugly Betty ... would be welcome in Mt Isa". Words fail me!
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